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Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.Keeping Your Personal Information Private Interacting with People Offline Being Aware of Predators Ceasing Communication and Reporting Threats Community Q&A Chatrooms are a fun place to engage in discussion about a variety of topics.This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.Direct Relief is a humanitarian nonprofit with a mission to improve the health and lives of people affected by poverty and emergencies.

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